In the nursery

INTHENURSERY

1872
FAIRYTALESOFHANSCHRISTIANANDERSENINTHENURSERYbyHansChristianAndersen

FATHER,andmother,andbrothers,andsisters,weregonetotheplay;onlylittleAnnaandhergrandpapawereleftathome.
"We’llhaveaplaytoo,"hesaid,"anditmaybeginimmediately."
"Butwehavenotheatre,"criedlittleAnna,"andwehavenoonetoactforus;myolddollcannot,forsheisafright,andmynewonecannot,forshemustnotrumplehernewclothes."
"Onecanalwaysgetactorsifonemakesuseofwhatonehas,"observedgrandpapa.
"Nowwe’llgointothetheatre.Herewewillputupabook,thereanother,andthereathird,inaslopingrow.Nowthreeontheotherside;so,nowwehavethesidescenes.Theoldboxthatliesyondermaybethebackstairs;andwe’lllaytheflooringontopofit.Thestagerepresentsaroom,aseveryonemaysee.Nowwewanttheactors.Letusseewhatwecanfindintheplaything-box.Firstthepersonages,andthenwewillgettheplayready.Oneaftertheother;thatwillbecapital!Here’sapipe-head,andyonderanoddglove;theywilldoverywellforfatheranddaughter."
"Butthoseareonlytwocharacters,"saidlittleAnna."Here’smybrother’soldwaistcoat-couldnotthatplayinourpiece,too?"
"It’sbigenough,certainly,"repliedgrandpapa."Itshallbethelover.There’snothinginthepockets,andthat’sveryinteresting,forthat’shalfofanunfortunateattachment.Andherewehavethenut-cracker’sboots,withspurstothem.Row,dow,dow!howtheycanstampandstrut!Theyshallrepresenttheunwelcomewooer,whomtheladydoesnotlike.Whatkindofaplaywillyouhavenow?Shallitbeatragedy,oradomesticdrama?"
"Adomesticdrama,please,"saidlittleAnna,"fortheothersaresofondofthat.Doyouknowone?"
"Iknowahundred,"saidgrandpapa."ThosethataremostinfavorarefromtheFrench,buttheyarenotgoodforlittlegirls.
Inthemeantime,wemaytakeoneoftheprettiest,forinsidethey’reallverymuchalike.NowIshakethepen!Cock-a-lorum!Sonow,here’stheplay,brin-bran-spannew!Nowlistentotheplay-bill."
Andgrandpapatookanewspaper,andreadasifhewerereadingfromit:

THEPIPE-HEAdANDTHEGOODHEAD
AFamilyDramainOneAct
CHARACTERS
MR.PIPE-HEAD,afather.MR.WAISTCOAT,alover.
MISSGLOVE,adaughter.MR.DEBOOTS,asuitor.

"Andnowwe’regoingtobegin.Thecurtainrises.Wehavenocurtain,soithasrisenalready.Allthecharactersarethere,andsowehavethemathand.NowIspeakasPapaPipe-head!He’sangryto-day.Onecanseethathe’sacoloredmeerschaum.
"’Snik,snak,snurre,bassellurre!I’mmasterofthishouse!I’mthefatherofmydaughter!WillyouhearwhatIhavetosay?Mr.deBootsisapersoninwhomonemayseeone’sface;hisupperpartisofmorocco,andhehasspursintothebargain.Snikke,snakke,snak!Heshallhavemydaughter!"
"NowlistentowhattheWaistcoatsays,littleAnna,"saidgrandpapa."NowtheWaistcoat’sspeaking.TheWaistcoathasalaydowncollar,andisverymodest;butheknowshisownvalue,andhasquitearighttosaywhathesays:
"’Ihaven’taspotonme!Goodnessofmaterialoughttobeappreciated.Iamofrealsilk,andhavestringstome.’
"’-Ontheweddingday,butnolonger;youdon’tkeepyourcolorinthewash.’ThisisMr.Pipe-headwhoisspeaking.’Mr.deBootsiswater-tight,ofstrongleather,andyetverydelicate;hecancreak,andclankwithhisspurs,andhasanItalianphysiognomy-’"
"Buttheyoughttospeakinverses,"saidAnna,"forI’veheardthat’sthemostcharmingwayofall."
"Theycandothattoo,"repliedgrandpapa;"andifthepublicdemandsit,theywilltalkinthatway.JustlookatlittleMissGlove,howshe’spointingherfingers!
"’CouldIbuthavemylove,WhothensohappyasGlove!
Ah!
IfIfromhimmustpart,I’msure’twillbreakmyheart!’
’Bah!’ThelastwordwasspokenbyMr.Pipe-head;andnowit’sMr.
Waistcoat’sturn:
"’OGlove,myowndear,Thoughitcosttheeatear,Thoumustbemine,ForHolgerDanskehasswornit!’
"Mr.deBoots,hearingthis,kicksup,jingleshisspurs,andknocksdownthreeoftheside-scenes."
"That’sexceedinglycharming!"criedlittleAnna.
"Silence!silence!"saidgrandpapa."Silentapprobationwillshowthatyouaretheeducatedpublicinthestalls.NowMissGlovesingshergreatsongwithstartlingeffects:
"’Ican’tsee,heigho!AndthereforeI’llcrow!Kikkeriki,intheloftyhall!’
"Nowcomestheexcitingpart,littleAnna.Thisisthemostimportantinalltheplay.Mr.Waistcoatundoeshimself,andaddresseshisspeechtoyou,thatyoumayapplaud;butleaveitalone,-that’sconsideredmoregenteel.
"’Iamdriventoextremities!Takecareofyourself!Nowcomestheplot!YouareTHEPIPE-HEAd,andIamthegoodhead-snap!thereyougo!"
"Doyounoticethis,littleAnna?"askedgrandpapa."That’samostcharmingcomedy.Mr.WaistcoatseizedtheoldPipe-headandputhiminhispocket;therehelies,andtheWaistcoatsays:
"’Youareinmypocket;youcan’tcomeouttillyoupromisetounitemetoyourdaughterGloveontheleft.Iholdoutmyrighthand.’"
"That’sawfullypretty,"saidlittleAnna.
"AndnowtheoldPipe-headreplies:
"’ThoughI’mallear,
VerystupidIappear:
Where’smyhumor?Gone,Ifear,AndIfeelmyhollowstick’snothere,Ah!never,mydear,
DidIfeelsoqueer.Oh!prayletmeout,AndlikealambledtoslaughterI’llbetrothyou,nodoubt,Tomydaughter.’"
"Istheplayoveralready?"askedlittleAnna."Bynomeans,"repliedgrandpapa."It’sonlyalloverwithMr.deBoots.Nowtheloverskneeldown,andoneofthemsings:
"’Father!’andtheother,’Come,doasyououghttodo,-Blessyoursonanddaughter.’Andtheyreceivehisblessing,andcelebratetheirwedding,andallthepiecesoffurnituresinginchorus,"’Klink!clanks!
Athousandthanks;Andnowtheplayisover!’
"Andnowwe’llapplaud,"saidgrandpapa."We’llcallthemallout,andthepiecesoffurnituretoo,fortheyareofmahogany."
"Andisnotourplayjustasgoodasthosewhichtheothershaveintherealtheatre?"
"Ourplayismuchbetter,"saidgrandpapa."Itisshorter,theperformersarenatural,andithaspassedawaytheintervalbeforetea-time."

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WrittenByAnderson